Ingredients
- White rice
- 450 g nasi vegetable pack (either the one that was on sale because the best before date is today, which is the only reason you’re even bothering to cook tonight, or if that’s not available in your area just throw together some vegetables)
- 3 M/L eggs
- A lack of energy
- The weekly high ambitions for eating well
- 40 g / a standard pack of nasi spices (if that’s not available in your area, it’s possible to recreate it by making an amalgamation of other spices, but this way you might just end up making a curry instead)
Instructions
Get out of bed to cook dinner approximately three hours later than you meant to. Walk over to the kitchen and wonder if you should clean up beforehand. Shove all the dishes into the sink. Turn the stove up to medium-high heat and start boiling water. In the meantime, measure your rice out for three portions, like always. Take a look at how much is now in the bowl and immediately regret your decision. Your paranoia of food poisoning does not outweigh the trouble of washing the rice, so don’t. Start cooking once the water is boiling. Forget to set a timer and guess that about a minute has passed, probably.
Drain the rice once it’s done and put it to the side for now. Crack three eggs into a bowl. During this process you need to wash your hands twice because cracking eggs properly is not a skill you possess, clearly, and now your fingers feel horrible. Whisk until mixed and pour into a frying pan before seasoning with salt and pepper. Have a burst of motivation through the wonders of standing upright for longer than a minute and start cleaning your room. Fold laundry neatly before haphazardly throwing it into the corresponding drawer. Clean out your backpack and learn you’d forgotten there’s rum in there. Turn on music loudly because you’re mostly sure your neighbour is still gone for the holidays. Wonder why the eggs are taking so long and remember that you should have put the heat higher. Transfer to a bowl when done.
Throw the vegetables into the pan. Coke pairs well with nasi, so regret not buying some earlier. Chop the eggs into rough pieces in the meantime. Once the vegetables have softened, throw some water into the pan and add the spices. Mix until everything has a vague orange hue to it. Add the rice and mix again until similar results. Throw at least three spoons worth of food over the edge of the pan by accident. Finally, mix in the egg, and realize you could have maybe done that more efficiently.
Turn off the heat. Regret making this much rice for the third time today. Put as much in your bowl as you can stomach eating without feeling ill because you literally don’t have enough tupperware for the rest otherwise. Pour a glass of cheap ginger ale and enjoy.